A year (un)wiser…

As per my Facebook stats, quite a few of my friends turned ‘A year wiser’ this month. This seems to be the latest trend of announcing to the world that we are slowly inching towards mid life.

Not that I mind!

As a woman on the wrong side of 30s, I will any day prefer to get ‘wiser’ than ‘older’, trust me!Actually, I do not have much option in this. In exactly eight days time, it will be my turn to become ‘wiser’! Again!

And that got me thinking!

With a little free time in hand, a glass of wine and the full support of the UK weather with it’s eternal fog and dreary clouds that was in total sync with my mood…I sat down to think of ways to become wiser this year!

When I was a kid, seeing my Mom handle seemingly 100 chores at the same time, all with equal finesse seemed like a really cool superhero thing to do! Of course I wanted to be ‘mature’ and ‘wise’ like her when I grew up. Who wouldn’t?

But now that I have grown up, I think may be I saw a little too much through love tinted glasses! After all, Superheroes are not real, right? Otherwise, just being virtue of being older, surely I would have mustered the art of ‘being wise’ by now, I think.

Or is it just me?

What if my mind is not wired the right way? What if, I never fit into the box of expectations that my age demands and forever be doomed to be a mess?

You see, cooking is a skill I always thought I will master with age. I don’t know anyone in my life (well except for my dad perhaps) who hasn’t got a talent for cooking and a cool list of ‘secret’ recipes up their sleeves! But alas, my kitchen always looks more like a chemistry lab with an experiment gone wrong!No, no, don’t think for a moment that I am totally helpless! Over the years (through innumerable trials and turbulences) I have perfected one or two dishes that I repeatedly serve to friends and family as my ‘signature’ dish. My friends (all finger licking good cooks) are too polite to comment that they have been having the same thing for the ‘umpteenth’ time at my place. And, their politeness works wonders for me!

Its not that I am scared to try new things! But, with each new recipe, the bigger guinea pig at home (read husband) goes into a silent zone of his own…to maintain family peace, world peace and all that!! And the little guinea pig, the sweetie pie that she is, never fails to give me a thumbs up and then promptly switches to bread and butter!Alas, I have no option but to admit that the glossy pictures of table laden with (almost orgasmic)food that adorn Instagram daily will never come from me! Wise or not, a cook I am not!

Then there there is that little thing about being ‘orderly’. I know of people who not only plans months in advance but also has a repertoire of backup plans just in case! With them nothing is left to chance, not a single thing out of place. And here I am, my i-s more blotched than dotted, and t-s more tilted than crossed! If something can be relegated to a later time, then why not? Sometimes a nap is equally important, right?

Well, if you ask me, the world is so obsessed with being ‘in order’ that we are on the verge of forgetting that there is an art form called ‘organized mess’ (which yours truely have mastered of course)!But unfortunately I cannot pass on this dying art form to my 5 year old. The other parent has an archaic view on this (sigh!)! There goes another strike on my being wise!

You know, I have had this on-again/off-again affair with exercises for quite some time now.I always had this vision of looking like Jennifer Lopez while cooking (what can I say? Look at the cook shows. You are supposed to look like that while you are cooking, right?). But alas, every year right before the festivities my Nike Run Club has a spike of activities that somehow never gets translated into the reading on my weighing scale! I still have to resort to my skill of holding in my breath to fit into that special dress(sigh!).

To be fair, it’s not as if I do exercise like religion! The sun, the rain, the wind all have a say in if I am running that day or not! And don’t underestimate the power of fatigue! What? You don’t think fatigue is a good enough reason to miss exercise? Ask it to any mom with a full time day job and an ALL time side job of cook, maid, teacher, nurse, guide,chauffeur, voodoo magician!

Or maybe not!There are these Instagram moms after all, who make having 4 kids and an hour glass figure look so effortless! Time for another strike, I guess!

Some people do seem to have superpowers in real life!Take for example, those parents who make an art form out of their children’s homework! Every time I see a 5 year old submit a project that can rival in Art College category, I cringe within myself a little bit! Mind you, it’s not because I wish that was my daughter’s homework! We are quite happy to submit sloppy art and scribbles and sticky paints. After all, it’s her homework not mine!

But when I see those art forms, I realise that even if it had been my homework, I couldn’t have made anything half like it! And I really wouldn’t mind a little gift of ingenuity! After all, who doesn’t want to look like a hero in their little ones eyes!

But alas, I am a long way from being there!

Sometimes just keeping track of all school events feels like an insurmountable job, helping with homework after a hectic work day feels too tedious, managing time between all that needs to be done seem like a never ending challenge.

With my glass of wine almost done, I can safely say I am nobody’s hero and a far cry away from the perfect vision of myself I had. This year (or any year for that matter) there is little chance of me becoming any wiser! I think,I will continue to hide my greys in caramel highlights and be content being my unwise version.

Now that I hear real life knocking at my door (time for school run), I raise my glass in a final salute to all of you out there who like me do not fit into any vision (either own or someone else’s) but are still happy to be perfectly imperfect!

We may not fit into boxes of expectations but we sure know our way around them!!

Cheers!!!